Monday, March 7, 2011

Fights is Fun


Before reading further be warned.
If you are a pacifist, peace-loving,turn the other cheek or Amish person. THIS WILL OFFEND YOU.
Moving right along. I think fights is fun.
Yelling back and forth at one another, trading verbal jabs and saying snide things. That is not a fight.
That is arguing. It can escalate to a fight, but mostly in todays oh so modern and peacified society everyone seems to think it is perfectly ok to yell at other people.
Its not.
Yelling is not fighting, its yelling. Saying shitty spiteful things to people is not fighting, its shitty. Goading someone into physical violence does not show how awesome you are. Rather, it shows that Darwin was right. Only in todays land of make believe we protect the weak little smart-asses that would have been beaten to death as children in a real world. 
Before litigation and the outlawing of fistcuffs, people were exceedingly polite to each other. Really, you had to be. Even in the 40s and 50s a punch in the mouth was something a wise-ass could expect. 
People were nicer.
All that being said, lets talk about fights.
A fight is when two folks get together and air out their differences by smacking each other with available body parts. Fists, hands, Heads, Knees and Feets are all legitiment tactics.
Training in a fighting style is also perfectly legal in Tom-land.
Its a fight as long as you get the chance to do as much damage to your opponent as he gets to do to you.
On a side note.
Yes, women can fight. I prefer that they do not but I am very liberal in this respect. However I will never hit a women or allow any man in my vicinity to do so.
Its in my Blood. 
Even hearing about a man roughing up a women gets me nigh unto berserker rage.
onwards then.
One of the best fights I ever got in I lost. 
I was in line to go to a haunted house, along with hundreds of other people all jostling each other.
I jostled up against a Samoan guy about my size, he gave me the stink eye so I stink eyed right back.
No words were exchanged, he just pushed my chest with his open hand so I popped him on the eye. I would love to say that I won, I really would. But I hit that guy as many times and as hard as I could, in the head in the face in the stomach and chest and he just took it, waited, then cracked me on the forehead. 
Son of a brother celibate nun! 
That hurt. I slowed down a bit but I kept hitting him, then he cracked me on the forehead again!
The celibate nun was tap dancing in my head.
So i put everything I had into a flying super-human strength monster punch to the face. Pulled my fist right out of orbit and dropped it on him like a meteor.
He blinked twice. Shook his head a little bit,and started laughing.
So I held up my hand and said ok ok ok.
Still Laughing he said . "That was a pretty good shot" and hugged me. 
His name is Raymond Latului, we got to be really good friends. 
Strange.
But thats what fights is.
You win some and you lose some.
You learn to be polite really quickly around guys that will break your nose for an insult.
Pavlov and his freaking Dogs.
Todays society has created the super asshole. These weasely guys that whine and yelll and complain about everything. They bluster and threaten and intimidate. They yell and curse and make obscene gestures from the safety of their cars.
They believe that they are immune to physical violence. They have the law and society firmly in their corner.
I hope for the sake of the rest of us that one day they run into a Neanderthal like me.
Its fair, they can fight back and win. Maybe they can back their mouth with fists of fury.
I doubt it.
But they get the chance.




2 comments:

Deus Ex Machina said...

Hmmm....won't hit a girl, eh? What if she hits you first? I like fights, too. Real fights. The kind that make you so angry you have to laugh. I'm sure I have a napoleon complex. I used to fight black belts here http://www.battleofatlanta.info/

Katsidhe said...

I'm pretty sure that there should be a Thunder Dome. If someone gets cheeky with you, then you would say, "We'll settle this in the ThumderDome", and the rules of society would be that you *have* to accept.

I think people would be a lot nicer to each other then. Especially since it seems that you men have a real penchant for becoming mates after a fight. My one love got the shit beat out of him by an ex-boxer one evening. They were roomates by the end of the night.