Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Making Loud noises

Ever blown anything up?
I am not talking about firecrackers.
For those of you that have known me for a long time, you were probably aware of this. For those of you who are just meeting me here ya go.
I like to blow stuff up.
Or as I shall refer to it henceforth "make really loud noises" to avoid being put on any sort of watch list.
Let me re-phrase.
To be put on ANY MORE watch lists.
I love Dry Ice.
It makes the best loud noises.
I even have a special recipe, after years (kid time, one summer) of testing I came up with three things.
1: Powder the Dry ice
2: Use cold water
3: Two liter bottles work, BUT, Listerine bottles are EXCEPTIONAL.
I won’t go into the details of the process of obtaining the un-obtanium on this list.
Watch list.
We used to make them at night after church activities in the summer. Praise God and blow stuff up.
Its an age old practice.
We launched a 50 gallon drum around 1/2 a minute high. It was dark and the drum was black and we couldn’t see it. It was in the air 1/2 a minute.
We had a pound of dry ice and a whole bunch of bottles. We had yet to figure out how perfectly they fit inside a mailbox, that was the next summer.
For this summer we were content to set them on the street or throw them in the air.
They are near as loud as Dynamite.

The group of us were making them and laughing and running and just being kids.
Every time a car would pull into the neighborhood we would scatter to shouts of "it’s a cop!" but it was all in fun. Never did any of us for a second think it actually was a cop.
We had just enough dry ice for two more noises but only one bottle, so we doubled up everything and screwed the lid down extra tight. We were in the road, two houses away from mine. We set the bottle down and ran across the street, the bottle rolled to the curb and just sat there.
wai..... Car coming into the neighborhood, shouts of "its a cop" accompanied by the sound of Air Jordan knockoffs (except for Darren, his were real) running away from the scene of the soon to be crime.
Our giggles and laughter turned to silence. It was a cop.

Hiding became paramount.
Its amazing how many kids can fit into a window well, especially when someone whose name I will not mentions runs into his house and LOCKS THE FREAKING DOOR!
Shit, Danny.
Leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves as the killer of fun pulled slowly up to the curb.
Directly over the as of yet un-exploded noise maker.
we collectively whispered "oh shit"
The guardian of the peace flipped on his little spotlight and began to shine it hither and yon, looking for, no doubt, the source of the whispered scatological reference.
Remember in the Fire swamp?
You know, when Buttercup and Wesley are escaping from Prince Humperdinck?
The popping that comes right before the flames?
Seconds before a dry ice b..........
Sorry. Slip.
Seconds before the noise maker detonates it clicks.
It was clicking in the silence.
As the cop found us in his light, opened his door, started to put his foot on the ground....
It was loud.
Really really loud.
Its amazing how fast kids can get out of a window well.
Even more amazing is how many police and fire trucks and unmarked black helicopters responded.
It took me three hours to get home.
Every single back yard in the neighborhood felt my feet that night.
It was.


Not us, some other morons


Anonymous said...

I totally wish I knew you when I was that young self would've been totally in love and followed you everywhere!

Maasiyat said...

Ever set one of those off under a COW? i didn't know cows could jump that high or spontaneously squirt milk. It was all in the name of science.

Sapphire Dragonflies said...

cracking up, as usual...I should introduce you to my neighbor. He was an explosives expert in the military and now makes his own fireworks. He's gonna be the guy to know when the world ends....

Deus Ex Machina said...

Oh, would that my summers had included the likes of you.

Tom said...

@Primed :D Girls were allergic to me back then.... Even now to some extent, probably my nose, call me Cyrano
@Maasiyat, awesome awesome awesome!!!! I may just try that
@Sapphire, you moved in next door?
@Machina, summer memories are the sweetest. Sunshine and cut grass, hammocks and clubhouses, wars and fun. Just Life.

Katsidhe said...

If someone doesn't like to blow things up, then there is just something not right in their brain.

"It was loud" Hahaha!~

Tyson said...

We came up with one in scouts called "the works". The works is a brand of toilet bowl cleaner, add tinfoil and a 2 liter bottle and there is some sort of unbelievable chemical reaction. It's louder than dry ice "noises" if you can believe it. Let me know if you want the details...