Monday, January 3, 2011

Its a storm

I live in Utah. In a valley that sits at 5400 feet above sea level. The valley (like most valleys) is surrounded by Mountains.
It snows here.
Every winter.
This may come as a shock to you. If it does thats ok, I understand. It has actually been brought to my attention that there are places in the world where it does not snow at all, ever. Other places exist in this world that get a lot more snow then Utah.
Every year since years were invented it has snowed in Utah. Before there was even a Utah it was snowing here and long after we become one nation under the great spaghetti monster in the sky it will snow here.
Having mentioned this it is only fair to point out that snowfall by year varies. Sometimes we get a little bit early in the year and sometimes the deluge comes late. Depending entirely on misunderstood global phenomena such as Don King's hair, El Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria and the truly great mysteries of the universe such as the popularity of the twilight books (ok, i will stop) we will either get a lot of snow or just a skiff. However this is Utah.
It snows Here
Every Year.
It just goes to show how jaded and bored most people are with life when the news stations start predicting a veritable snowppacolypse every time we get cloud cover. Twice this year they have inflamed public opinion to the point that certain foolishly run workplaces actually cut the workday short a few hours so that all of the righteous could make it home in time to hug and kiss their families before the rapture. In a bizarre twist of fate it has seemed to me that only the people who roar home whilst skillfully driving blind in a blizzard on an ice laden road filled with the returning hordes of drones are righteous, or; possibly cool enough to drive the ubiquitous F350 Crew Cab that looks like the love child of a Tonka truck on steroids and The Nightmare that keeps John Mayer awake and drooling green love lyrics.
How does the Prius do in the snow? I wonder.
Besides, this is Utah.
It snows here.
Every year.
The last time I checked there were 365 days in every year. In Utah every single one of those years is going to have at least two seasons. Sometimes it will have as many as four and once in a very great while it will have six. Mud and Flood being added to Spring, Summer Fall and Winter. Utah does have some year round residents. Of the approximately 200,000 year round residents of Utah with a drivers license issued in this very state, how come all but six of them forget that it snows here?
In Utah
Every year.

1 comment:

Jason said...

An important news article. Those that can't grasp the completely obvious fact of repeating seasons need to be reminded, yes, every year.

And the righteous, self-righteous, and unrighteous should all slow down. One hug before the snowpocalypse arrives isn't going to change anything. Snow causes slick roads, and you're more likely to hug a cement barrier at high speed.