Thursday, January 27, 2011

Perils of AEC

Its an unavoidable part of adult human life in the good old USA. I will give you the absolute guaranty that if this has not happened to you at least twice already in your life it will happen in the next day or so.
take it to the bank Guaranteed.
By the time you are done reading this brief Public service announcement you will have remembered several times in your life that it has happened and dread (or anticipate happily) your next occurrence
It is such a common thing, so far as of yet unexplained by modern medical science, the changing of the zodiac or the twilight books. (yes, ok, enough)
This is how it happens. You, or someone exactly like you enters a public restroom. With mind intent on what is to come you walk with a purpose to the nearest available stall/cubicle/urinal and in passing your eyes wander over a closed, locked and occupied stall. And it happens. ACCIDENTAL EYE CONTACT.
The persyn sitting inside this paradox of privacy and you lock gazes. Such times test our mettle. Do we look away quickly? Raise Eyebrows in the universal sign of  "really"? Or, smile and mouth the words "peek-a-boo".
If you are a man I would advise against options B and C. Perhaps if you are a women as well. Not being a women I am not versed in the correct etiquette. Possibly a finger wave?
 The conspiratorial glance shared between fellow sufferers at children's birthday parties, the eye roll shared between siblings when one of the feeble minded parents starts to tell yet another anecdote for the umpteenth time, the come hither burning gaze from a member of the opposite sex at a party inviting you to delights best left unmentioned in this blog. These are not, strictly speaking, AED.
Ok, the last one has never happened to me personally but I have friends that swear it has happened to a friend. The one time I thought it was happening to me I had the foresight to turn around and see Gerard Butler  standing behind me.
But all of those can not properly be described as true AEC.
AEC is as common as dirt, it befalls all. Both high and low come under its malignant (or benevolent?) gaze from time to time.
The couple making out in a public place, an innocent glance can become AEC.
A criminal in the backseat of a police cruiser being transported to durance vile, AEC.
The plumber who pulls a wad of WTHs out of your clogged toilet. AEC.
The pretty women at the gym who strains a mite to hard and adds her toot to the symphonic accompaniment, AEC.
The man caught in an obvious leer by the ? leery ? or would that be ? leerer ? AEC.
All in all, it can happen to anyone. anytime. anywhere.
Well, except to this kid.

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